1. Parents welcome children best when they consciously prepare their own bodies, minds, and spirits for pregnancy and birth, and think of conception as a deep commitment between themselves and the baby.


2. Even when pregnancy is unplanned, both parents can create a healthy, nurturing environment for their child.

1. Determining whether having and raising a child fits with the parents' desired lifestyle.


2. Recognizing any expectations that a parent might have of a child.


3. Assessing parents' physical, mental, and emotional readiness to conceive a baby with loving intention and full awareness.


4. Considering potential parents' present ability to love and nurture a child.


5. Assessing the availability of physical and emotional support from family and community.


6. Contemplating any lifestyle choices necessary to allow either parent, ideally the mother, to remain with the child for the first one to three years.


7. Conceiving a baby with loving intention and full awareness. (References)


8. Being fully informed of the longterm implications and potential risksas well as benefitsof any artificial measures (such as sperm and egg donation, surrogacy, or fertility drugs) when natural conception and gestation are not possible.

1. The unborn child is a sensitive being who is aware of, and responsive to, the mother's feelings and experience.


2. A growing life is strongly influenced by the mother's physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing, as well as the quality of support she receives throughout pregnancy.<

1. Active involvement of the father as a vital partner during pregnancy and childbirth preparation, including parental consensus and consistency in parenting values and practices. (References)


2. Access to physical, emotional, and spiritual support from empathetic family, friends and community. (References)


3. Supportive, sincere, and caring partnerships with prenatal care providers, including access to a midwifery model of care and information about potential risks and benefits of medical...&tc.

1. A natural birth is more likely to occur in an environment based on the midwifery model of care, with physical and emotional support, nourishment, freedom of movement, and individualized attention.
   
   
2. The possible benefits of any contemplated test, procedure, drug, or surgery must be weighed against the immediate and long-term risks, according to current scientific evidence.
   

1. The infant-mother bond is primary and lays the foundation for all future relationships.


2. Securing and maintaining a strong bond is the foundation of a parent's effectiveness and the key to a child's optimal development.

This environment offers:

1. Respect for the interdependence of the infant-mother unit, supporting immediate and uninterrupted contact between mother and infant 24 hours per day (rooming in). (References)


2. Respect for the significance of the father or partner's role in supporting the mother and connecting with the child during the birth and postpartum period. (References)


3. Support for kangaroo care (i.e., using the mother's body rather than incubators) to stabilize the heart rate and body temperature of premature or sick infants (References).


4. Support for mothers to initiate breastfeeding within an hour of birth, and to sustain lactation even if they are separated from their infants (References).


5. Support for successful breastfeeding by responding to the baby's cues to nurse and by giving no artificial formula, teats, pacifiers, food, or drink other than breast milk. (References)


6. Referral to support groups (such as La Leche League) for breastfeeding mothers. (References)


7. Respect for the baby's attachment-promoting behaviors by not interfering with eye contact, "body molding," suckling, etc., immediately following birth.


8. Respect for infants by telling them what's happening in their environment and what's going to be happening to them. (References)


9. Protection from over-stimulation (bright lights or loud noises) or trauma to the infant (separation from mother, taking blood specimens, or circumcision). (References)


10. Support with meals, childcare, housework, etc., during the postpartum period.

1. Spontaneous breastfeeding for a minimum of two years supports optimal bonding, immunity, and nutrition.


2. Carrying infants in-arms or wearing them in slings throughout the day provides the near-constant movement that optimizes brain development as well as the touch, safety, and comfort essential to secure bonding.

1. The father's role may begin with preparation for conception and continues with the physical and emotional protection and support of the mother, baby, and mother-child bond.


2. In the absence of the biological father, a bonded, ongoing relationship with a loving male caregiver is optimal for every child.

1. Respecting and supporting a child's healthy relationship with each parent is essential to the child's self-confidence and self-value.


2. A support system that includes healthy-functioning adults of both genders and multiple generations provides balanced nurturing and role modeling.

Support for infant-parent bonding includes:

1. Valuing the father's/partner's role as protector of mother and infant and involving the partner in early bonding and the baby's care.


2. Breastfeeding by responding to the baby's cues, exclusively for six months, and sustained for the World Health Organization's recommendation of 2+ years, and for as long as both mother and child are benefiting and comfortable.


3. Avoiding, as much as possible, the use of substitutes for human contact—strollers, portable baby seats and baby swings, cribs, playpens, pacifiers, bottles, and stuffed toys.


4. Maintaining skin-to-skin contact, smiling, making prolonged and steady eye contact, gently stroking the baby, and making soothing sounds.


5. Carrying infants in-arms or wearing them in slings provides the near-constant motion essential for the vestibular (inner ear) stimulation that results in optimal development of the central nervous system—except when they want to creep, crawl, or walk on their own


6. Providing safe, shared, and accessible sleeping arrangements (e.g., a family bed or adjacent co-sleeper).


7. Recognizing that the baby is a social being, whose crying and other behaviors are not "manipulations" but communication of valid needs, and that meeting those needs is not "spoiling" but is the best way to ensure optimal emotional development.

Potential support includes:

1. Developing a network of both genders that may include biological family, family-of-choice, or parent support groups.


2. Finding ways that an absent parent can maintain a consistent and meaningful presence in a child's life when a parent cannot be physically present. (e.g., letters, photos, phone calls, etc.).


3. Helping navigate a single parent through the complex social services system when financial assistance is needed.


4. Alleviating the isolation of many single parents with community or co-housing options and programs that offer foster aunts, uncles, and grandparents, etc.

1. Children are most able to reach their full potential when treated with respect in a loving environment that meets their emotional and physical needs, and encourages and supports innate curiosity and spontaneous learning.


2. Flexibility, clear thinking, age-appropriate problem solving, and intuition are optimized in a child-led learning environment that offers clear, consistent, and respectful boundaries along with creative, cooperative activities, interaction with nature, unstructured play, and time to simply be.

1. All children deserve trust and respect for their own emerging learning styles and abilities.


2. The better parents are able to understand their child’s pattern of development, the better they are able to nurture their child in harmony with this pattern.

Recognition and nourishment includes:

1. Understanding that those who understand a child's pattern of development are better able to nurture a child in harmony with this pattern.


2. Responding to a child's interests and abilities, rather than imposing a structured academic curriculum, especially before age seven.


3. Recognizing and supporting multiple types of intelligence, (e.g., kinesthetic, linguistic, spatial, interpersonal, intrapersonal, musical, or logical-mathematical).


4. Offering plentiful access to resources and support for artistic expression.


5. Allowing time for unstructured play—both alone and with parents, caregivers, and other children.


6. Avoiding the use of bribes, threats, or punishments to enforce desired behaviors; instead recognizing challenging situations as teachable moments or opportunities to solve a problem together.


7. Avoiding the use of rewards to motivate children to learn or to reinforce behaviors; instead offering genuine warmth, encouragement, and support.


8. Validating and acknowledging children through words and actions, and being respectful of the child's saying (or indicating) "No" or "I'm not ready."


9. Being calm, respectful, present, and supportive when children need to release stress, hurt, and trauma..

1. Emotional needs for unconditional love, touch, and attention are as valid as physical needs.


2. Responding to crying rather than leaving children alone to "cry it out" shows them that their needs are acknowledged and deepens their basic trust, initially in their parents, ultimately in their world.

1. Children naturally imitate those around them.


2. When adults discover what a child's behavior is actually communicating, they are better able to respond to the need rather than react to the behavior.

1. Violence, such as spanking, shaming, emotional abuse, and circumcision, weakens or impairs children's sense of wholeness, trust, and security.


2. Toxic influences that damage children's brains and nervous systems include over-stimulation from video games, computers, and television, as well as highly processed foods, environmental contaminants and behavior-modifying drugs.

Innate needs are met by:

1. Caregiver constancy (i.e., one or two caregivers, ideally the parents) for at least the first three years—avoiding frequent or prolonged separation.


2. Unconditional love that is not dependent on the child's behavior.


3. Consistent and reasonable limits that are communicated respectfully, without punishments and threats ("You may do this," rather than "Don't you dare do that.").


4. Parenting that recognizes uncooperative behavior as an expression of unmet needs (e.g., good nutrition, attention, or the release of pent-up emotions), temperament (e.g., highly sensitive or introverted), or unrealistic expectations of the child's current stage of development.


5. Parenting that creatively and compassionately responds to behaviors caused by unmet needs, e.g., defusing the situation with play or humor ("let's pretend"), redirecting or offering choices ("you can do this" instead of "don't do that"), or replaying ("let's start over").


6. A healthy, nutritious diet of whole foods, avoiding refined sugars, processed foods, additives, colorings, and pesticides.


7. Access to nonviolent, nonsexist, and multicultural, media and experiences.


8. Access to safe outdoor play and direct experience with the natural world, along with abundant opportunities for spontaneous movement and exercise.


9. The communication of healthy, responsible values about the body and sexuality, including respect for the right of infants and children to explore their bodies in healthy ways.


10. Honoring and respecting every child's right to bodily integrity (i.e., intact genitalia).

Protecting young children includes:

1. Protection, as much as possible, from exposure to loud noises, bright lights, toxic substances, passive smoke, too much direct sunlight, and household chemicals.


2. Minimal exposure to TV, video games, computer programs, and other electronic media, with careful monitoring of content.


3. The right to private time, and permission to refuse touch—including hugs and kisses, even from relatives .


4. Protection from physical or emotional violence (e.g., caregiver anxiety/conflict, spanking, or verbal abuse, such as threatening or shaming, "timeout," or any other form of isolation).


5. Recognition of the need for the child's immune system to mature when considering the benefits and short- and long-term risks of vaccinations, especially live vaccines and those given at birth or before the baby is two years old.

1. The more adults understand and compensate for their own unmet physical and emotional childhood needs, the better able they are to meet the needs of children in their care.


2. Once they are better informed, parents who lacked adequate information, resources, or support during the earlier stages of their children's development can strive to compensate for unmet needs.

Minimizing our barriers includes:

1. Recognizing that our ancestral and family patterns, as well as our conception, prenatal, birth, childhood, and life experiences impact the ways we welcome and care for our children.


2. Addressing dysfunctional patterns caused by our own early unmet needs, and recognizing the need for positive role models and caring and supportive communities.


3. Recognizing and tending to a mother's need to heal any stressful experiences that occurred while pregnant, or during the birth or early childhood of her offspring.


4. Strengthening a child's attachment, if circumstances interfered with early bonding, by holding, soothing, carrying, playing, massaging, and attending to their signals for the need for quiet reflection.

1. Children learn to respect and respond to the needs of others when they are seen and heard, and their opinions and needs are recognized, respected, and met.


2. Engaging children in age-appropriate, creative, and compassionate problem-solving and decision-making within the family and the community fosters their becoming responsible members of a society.

Responsive and responsible community involvement can be fostered by:

1. Creating a harmonious family environment that practices creative and constructive problem solving.


2. Providing age-appropriate opportunities to practice problem solving and decision-making.


3. Supporting cooperative rather than competitive activities.


4. Access to, and age-appropriate responsibility for, pets, plants, etc.


5. Encouraging community involvement and intergenerational relationships by providing children with opportunities for service (e.g., volunteering in the community, visiting the sick, welcoming new neighbors with homemade gifts, etc.).


6. Encouraging children to initiate and generate activities and celebrations with family and friends.


7. Responding to environmental problems with actions, (e.g., planting trees, recycling, picking up litter in the park).

1. Information about children's developmental stages, temperament, and individuality helps parents make informed decisions and serve as advocates of the child's wellbeing.


2. Ready access to evidence-linked information about optimal human development is vital for societies that have departed from nature's biological imperatives.

Parent education programs include:

1. Preparation of prospective and expectant parents for assuming the roles and responsibilities of becoming mothers and fathers.


2. Classes and support groups that promote attachment-style parenting.


3. Information about children's nature, needs, developmental stages, temperament, and individuality.


4. The resources and encouragement to enable parents to make informed decisions and to advocate for their child's medical care, wellness, education, and safety.


5. School programs that promote awareness of the roles and responsibilities of mothers, fathers, siblings, and communities in fulfilling the needs of a child.


6. Counseling and consulting for parents facing difficulties with their children.

1. Support from the immediate community and society at large is crucial if parents are to maintain a secure bond with their children in a nuclear family structure.


2. Society benefits and families thrive when health care and socio-political structures support all families in preparing for optimal gestation, birth, and parenting.

Support structures include:

1. Work leave for parents of each newborn, or newly adopted child, to share a total of 450 maternity or paternity paid leave days to be available as the primary caregiver for that child (following the Swedish example).


2. A minimum wage sufficient to allow each parent to work a maximum of one fulltime job outside the home.


3. Flextime, part-time, and job-sharing positions with paid time to care for a child’s illness and provision to attend children’s shows, sports events, and to volunteer at school.


4. The welcoming of children in or near the workplace.


5. Family schedules that accommodate at least one family meal each day, unstructured time with children undisturbed by work, phone, faxes, email, television, and voicemail.


6. Cooperative baby-sitting within communities, with the option of exchanging time instead of money.


7. Synchronization of school vacation schedules so that extended family and friends can holiday together.


8. Health-care coverage that promotes wellness as well as access to, and coverage for, a wide variety of conventional and alternative medical treatments.


9. Health policies that accommodate and encourage informed consent as well as informed refusal for treatment.


10. Family-friendly community environments that welcome children and encourage family activities.